Children are Special

Every child is special. Do we have the heart to feel it?

These days my 9-year old seems to be obsessed with Ninjas. She loves to watch their movies, read about them and even use the primary karate moves (picked up from weekly lessons in school) to emulate them.

Last night as she was intensely watching an animated Ninja episode, she blurted out a phrase. Without any conscious effort, it caught my attention. ‘Ninjas never quit!’

As I moved out of the room and into the verandah to take off my daughter’s uniform from the clothesline, my eyes fell upon the ‘Niketan’. The school-cum-residential that stands just across the street.

It is a home in which, not one, two or even a few children live. It is one which accommodates 150 - 200 children. They live there, not with their parents or relatives but under the supervision of caregivers and special educators. Though they are like us and our children, they are often referred to as ‘special’. Apparently, they have physical, mental or sometimes even psychological disabilities but the distinction does not stop just there.

We fail to understand them. We refuse to relate to them. In fact, it is their difference and unusualness that produces fear in us, the fear of the unknown. And we prefer not to look beyond that. Instead, we choose to remain complacent. We segregate them and refrain from including them in our day-to-day lives.

But that said and done, what strikes me most about these children and their parents, is their ‘never-give-up’ attitude. In my opinion, they are the real Ninjas. Strong, stubborn and steadfast as their reel-life counterparts. There is never a dull moment in the lives of these children. They do not strive to be happy. They are, in the words of Sadhguru, ‘exuberant’, a state of being that is natural to children but elusive to adults.

Surprisingly enough, their parents (unlike most of us) aren’t busy complaining about them or comparing them to others. Let’s consider here the tumultuous task they have at hand! Such children are accepted with their uniqueness and without inhibitions. Interestingly, every such parent seems to be on a mission. They keep bracing themselves, every moment, to accomplish it.

So, next time your child falls short of your expectations, do not rebuke her. Learn from a Ninja parent. Be realistic in your expectations. Then put in your effort to explain what is expected of her. Try to achieve a balance between your expectations and your child’s abilities. Finally, reinstate your faith in her.

I have stopped cribbing about my child’s messy eating habits and her forgetfulness. I no longer scold her for the mistakes that she will outgrow only with time. I have, instead, opened a dialogue with her. It has enough scope for both of us to mend. She is responding well to the change.

Children, like life itself, can be appreciated only when we zoom out and look at the whole self (the bigger picture) and not in parts. Let’s learn to accept and love our children for who they are. Let’s allow them to be. And let’s try to help them become the Ninjas, who can laugh in the face of adversity, look for challenges and live to never quit!

By: Promita Banerjee Nag

Disclaimer:
This article and the opinions expressed in it are personal opinions. It is not meant for imposing specific views or endorsing a particular way of life. Also please do ignore any errors or omissions that you might come across. We pledge to learn from them. Happy viewing.